If you have a frequent flier account with United or US Airways you can claim the miles flown on Singapore in those accounts. If there was any doubt about Singapore's alliance membership not only are they not listed on Delta.com as a partner and not only does the Star Alliance logo appear on Singapore's website but the Star logo is on the aircraft next to the door as you board the aircraft!
I'm surprised that not one Singapore employee told you they are not partnered with Delta when you handed them your SkyMiles card and that Delta simply didn't inform you of that fact in their first letter however to accuse them of cheating when you were never due the miles to begin with is a bit ridiculous.
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