If either reservation is still active, tell them to apply the money they've already taken to one of them. If they continue to dilly dally about whether they have the money or not, ask them to call your bank while you are on the line to verify this. It may take a whole lot of persuading on your part but I don't know what else to tell ya. If the bank says the money is in the airline's hands and the airline won't tell you either way, I would believe your bank. If they absolutely refuse to work with you, you will probably be better off purchasing a new ticket on another carrier now so, as you said, you don't end up paying more for a ticket later and then wait for Ethihad to refund your disappearing money.
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