This is tricky.... of course weather is not within the control of any airline, and the delay's compound as the day progresses. Had the BA staff told you the bald truth.. we don't know when you will get to LHR and whether Delta will play ball will be a matter for them, your position would not have been any different. However, you would at least have not been mislead by airline employees, who appear to try to placate passengers by lying to them. What is it about the airline industry that the employees seem incapable of giving people a straight answer?
However, I have to say your biggest error was choosing to fly from Manchester to LHR to connect with a different airline. What were you thinking? LHR is one of the most congested airports in the world. The Virgin Train from Manchester to London takes about 2.5 hrs.. and in adverse weather trains are more likely to be on time than aircraft. You should only consider connecting in LHR if you are with a single alliance or airline and don't have to change terminals and your luggage can be checked through. In any other circumstances, it makes no sense.
It is unreasonable to ask BA to pay for your fees and hotel, as the delay was weather related. However, it is perfectly reasonable to expect the airline to treat you like an adult and not lie to you... the days when "BA will take care of it", when you were connecting onto a competing airline are long gone..
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