You should consider these possibilities:
1. Contacting the EEOC
2. You should certainly contact the DOT
3. You should also consider contacting your local Representative.
Whether he worked for AA or not is irrelevent. He was acting as an agent for AA. This was discriminatory on the basis of his perception of you as gay. It is also irrelevent whether you are gay or not. If he perceived you to be gay and treated you in a discriminatory manner, then he is guilty of discrimination.
By the way, your handling of this matter was exemplary AND your email is a model of clarity and tone. You may also wish to consider involving the media, as AA appear to have adopted the strategy of ignoring you.
In terms of what they can say to you, the privacy of the employee may be a consideration in the detail that they can provide you. They can however tell you if they have acted on any of the other very sensible remedies you suggested, such as diversity training and a full apology. They could also indicate that they have taken appropriate measures to ensure the incident is not repeated.
Please keep us posted on the outcome. The conduct of this skycap is outrageous and your account highly credible.
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