I think you will get your money back. If you don't, you would win in small claims without a doubt. I think you may be worrying too much... it was a screw up on both sides. Sounds like the BA customer service agent was obnoxious and the AA guy didn't what they said they would do (didn't even cancel the Chicago leg).
It is a myth to say that a bag cannot be carried unaccompanied. However, if you are removed from a flight due to your conduct, or if you voluntarily left the flight, then the bag would have to be removed. Many bags travel unaccompanied..for example, if youR bag is lost and they send it on later.
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