Wow. It sounds like a game of pass the buck. I can't imagine what a gate agent is supposed to do or a flight attendant when those seats aren't available.
You did everything right from what you've written but AA failed every step of the way. Make sure you follow through with a written complaint to them and see what their response is. I would be interested to see what they say their policy is about who is responsible for taking the request, the res agent or the gate agent. I'm 99.9% sure they'll say it's the res agent.
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