If it's of any consolation...
Those people you see carrying-on bags that should have been checked will get nailed (for bag fees) if they are connecting to a flight which uses regional jet, or commuter prop, equipment. Otherwise, yes, they may get away with it. It's a toss of the dice. Some gate agents and flight attendants will let you carry on the kitchen sink. Others will nail you if you're one millimeter over the allowable dimensions.
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