The wrath of Frau Egoistin
With regard to carry-ons: If an airline wants to bust your chops my understanding is that they can make you check ANYTHING that does not fit COMPLETELY under the seat in front of you. If you're sitting in a bulkhead seat you could be SOL and be told you can't carry anything on. Hence, the overhead rack exists only for those occasions where the airline wants to do you a favor.
To protect yourself against jerks like the woman you encountered you have to weed through an airline's website and find the dimensional restrictions for carry-ons. Also, if your itinerary involves travel on a commuter aircraft (ie: a Beechcraft 1900) the maximum dimensions for a carry-on will be further restricted. What may be acceptable on a Boeing 737 may not fit on a commuter aircraft.
The best solution is to avoid overseas travel on ANY US-based airline. You may have thought you were saving money by using Continental. However, as you can see, you paid-out a lot in aggravation. If you had booked a non-stop MIA - CDG flight you, almost certainly, would not have had the problem you described. Even with the Frankfurt connection, you would have done better on Lufthansa.
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