[travelingmom]

My sympathies are with you, Ggolden. Your concerns don't strike me as being overbearing but protective and needing semblance of apologies. However, in your daughter's case, it's a lose-lose situation with not much recourse for getting any kind of satisfaction other than your daughter perhaps learning an invaluable lesson.

And yet... Here's the tricky part-- what if the european men who purchased the drinks had intended to get her drunk and divert your daughter from her destination but go off with them? That's the more sinister 'what if' but this is something to truly sit down with your daughter and discuss in full about personal safety.

True, your daughter's an adult, but as an adult she needs to own up to self-responsibility and being careful about getting caught up with moments to which her security could become compromised. For instance, there will be most likely other future tests. If she's in college, she's in the mecca-central for booze binges and parties. There will be bars, dance clubs, raves, perhaps club socials, and not every guy out there's going to be a nice guy, she could possibly have a drug slipped to her, etc, so have that sit down talk with your daughter and encourage a pledge from her to maintain personal safety by agreeing to never drink alone in the company of strangers even if the surroundings, like being on a plane or train, as such offer false sense of security.

There's never any telling what a predator looks like or what circumstance may lead to danger. For instance, meeting 'friends' for the first time over the Internet (Facebook, Myspace, etc)... So encourage your daughter to always have a companion when meeting people from Internet, like, meet during afternoon in coffee houses, that kind of thing.

I realize my reply diverges some from your primary point but many people here have sane and reasonable feedback and suggestions. I don't feel these replies are telling you how to do your job as a mother-- you know anyways, but all the same, it is awfully heartbreaking to find how close to danger your kid got to, but thank goodness what she encountered were typical european men, where yes, the drinking age in France is around age 16 and wine is typically served to children during meals if you can believe it...

As for the airlines, at best all you may receive is a sympathetic ear but I'm not convinced you have much recourse for refund since she's over 18 and a legal adult. A judge or jury would find your daughter to be the responsible party and likely suggest fining her for breaking the law with underage drinking. Thus, by seeking 'satisfaction' (apology, refund, whichever), the door could be opened to the Airline flagging her as being a difficult flyer or something (don't know if that's done but do know flags are made with US Customs if ever traveling internationally).

Hopefully this is a 'one off' experience but in the event your daughter may have a drinking problem that's starting to show its head, you could steer her to a 12 step recovery group like AA and even find support for feedback on how to process all this through Alanon which is a 12 step recovery program for family and loved ones with drinking issues. The numbers are in the front of the phone directory world wide and plenty of college campuses have peer friendly groups that can be located through Student Health services.

At this point, while it's rough to let this one go, it seems to me that for your own sake, all you can really do is let this one go, but not in a stupid way-- have the talk of course, check things out, but know that judgment and punishment can lead to distancing and hiding drinking issues, yet with a compassionate approach, the door remains open and your care and views respected.

Hang in there.