When the equipment changes, people's seats are automatically reassigned. Sometimes when people book reservations, for whatever reason they book them separately under different records. The computer has no way of knowing that you are supposed to sit together, so your seats are not placed together.
When the flight is full, it's impossible to get everyone seated together but they do their best. You should check at the gate about 40 minutes prior to scheduled departure and see if the agent there can do anything. Sometimes they have access to blocked seats.
Or, you could pay the fee to switch to a preferred seat ahead of time.
And you are incorrect about the fee for every other row; Delta charges for "preferred seats" These are window and aisle seats towards the front of the aircraft. You can pay extra if you want a preferred seat. Only half of the aircraft are preferred seats; if you don't see other seats available, it's because other people have already reserved those seats and it's a pretty full flight. Again, it's hard to get everyone together when it's a full flight.
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