[jimworcs]

I did not state that the Flight Attendant has to "put up with abuse" or accept being physically assaulted. I used to work in a Level 3 Emergency Room in a Trauma Centre in Charlotte, NC. I have had my fair share of people under stress, under the influence of drugs and alcohol. I have been threatened (twice with a weapon), assaulted, spat at, sworn at and verbally abused more times than I can count.

I am no saint, but I have never screamed at a patient or family member, never hit back, or used inappropriate language with a patient. When things were getting too heated or I found myself thinking of inappropriate responses or getting angry, I would ask a colleague to go and deal with the situation. I know the situation is not entirely analogous, as I can withdraw, whereas you are in a sealed metal tube. However, few FA's operate alone and you have the option of called police or asking colleagues to get involved.

As for why passengers take it out on cabin crew, the same applied to me. Why would they abuse someone working in the ER who is trying to help them, when they are really angry at their HMO for refusing coverage, or the police for arresting them, etc. The reason is because you are there, in a position of authority over them and they feel helpless, stressed, frustrated, anxious, angry and have no outlet. You at that point are simply the only representative of the company to hand. In the cool light of day, I am sure many would acknowledge that you had no control over the events that have made them behave the way they have behaved. However in that moment, I would argue it is your job to cope with such situations and professionalism is your only defence. The reason each position sets high standards of professional behaviour is precisely to protect staff from becoming personally involved. Once you start taking their actions personally, your own emotions will become engaged and risk an unprofessional response. I retreated mentally into cool professional mode and recognised that they were not venting at me personally, but at someone who represented authority. This attitude protected me, and ultimately, although I didn't have the immediate gratification of releasing my emotions and venting, I could later look back and feel the gratification of knowing I did my best and handled the situation as professionally as I could.
Some of the responses by airline employees in these forums have shocked me, both at the venom directed at some passengers who have complained and the degree to which staff appear to take things personally and get emotionally involved.