It's not FAA security rules as you have stated. Also her phone on is not threatening the safety of the flight. When the plane lands, you are allowed to use your phone while the plane is taxing to the gate. When leaving the gate, as was the case here, everyone is asked to turn off their phones more as preperation of the cabin for take off.
The actual main problem with cell phones in the air is that they screw up the cell phone system when your phone hits several cell towers at once. That's why the FCC has a problem with it.
The FAA's end of it is that some radio transmitters and receivers are able to interfere with the radio equipment on the aircraft, but not all. In fact I've seen test that have shown that cell phones won't. But the FAA, playing it safe, has put a blanket statment saying ANY transmitting and receiveing device. And before anyone asks why receiveing, radio receiver today are what is known as a Super heterodyne set. It's kind of hard to explain here, but in a nutshell the radio signal is received, and mixed with a different frequencey. It's that mixing stage that can bleed off a stray signal.
As to the part of you being removed, I understand both sides. They see you getting verbal, but they should have paid better attention to what you were telling her. Probably was not a good idea to get into an argument with the other passenger. The issue there is simply that an argument can lead to a physical confrontation. While you're on the ground that can be delt with, but not as well in the air.
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