i am sorry for all that happened and that you lost time on your vacation (i believe-or meetings) it sucks to be in that situation and everything
i believe you should have taken the earlier flight as you said before, if you knew about it, since 40mins transfer time is cutting it pretty close, and it will normally say before you pay for the ticket that there is a terminal change, so you have to account at least 10mins just for the change, the time that it takes to get the plane from the runway to the gate and everything, so 40mins is cutting it even if you arrived on time
now the other flights were out of your control and that bad luck went to worse
if you were talking about the connecting times from the first flight saying you didnt provide us with suffiecient time, well that is true but you also have to realize the connecting time and have to think reasonably if it is too close to call or are you going to take a chance especially with a terminal change, so its not completley the airlines or agents fault, there are some responsibilities you should take but it is understandable
but i think that you did the right thing by contacting them and asking for them to pay you back for the hotel and the fees, since that was not your choice and you didn't plan on having to stay there
i got a $50 virgin atlantic coupon (my girlfriend didnt recieve hers even though they said they were giving her one) for a flight where we missed out connection coz we were delayed and our connecting time was 2hours, and this was on xmas eve, and the flight attendants were worried about missing their party, so they put is in a hotel and a $12 food coupon (no drink and at midnight so the hotel wasn't serving any food) and than we had to get up early for the 12hour flight to singapore so it took us 30hours to get to our destination, and the return flight on virgin was worse, but i was happy with the way they handled my situation, since i knew that it was not their fault for the delay and everything (you can see my story under other airline complaints and look for virgin) just felt like puttin my story here since it somewhat kinda resembles yours slightly
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