[MissyM]

Last night I boarded the United Airlines Flight 878 from EWR to AMS. We’ll put aside for a moment that I had to pay an additional $99 in order to switch my seat from the middle seat of the middle row in the middle of the plane to a window seat. Walking onto the plane, normally a flight attendant greets you with a smile and says some form of a greeting. Instead, I was greeted with a cold stare. It’s possible she was having a bad day, which I accept and forgive, but unfortunately, there’s more. Once I got to my seat, I noticed that between the TV in front of me overhead compartments, we were in a very old plane. For a company that prides itself on their onboard what was offered was pitiful.

As we stabilized in the air, and reached a particular altitude, dinner time crawled up. I know that in general, airplane food is abysmal, but in the last few years, in my experience, most airlines have gotten significantly better that you can usually eat some of what’s on the tray. The woman sitting next to be had a special order for a vegan/vegetarian dish, and though I don’t believe in vegan cuisine, what they brought her was a dish that resembled heated vomit: “stale chickpeas in curry over plastic rice” is how one could describe it. I was scared now for what they were going to offer the rest of us!


The flight attendants pulled up the cart and asked “chicken or vegetarian”, and as usual, I ordered the chicken. The bitterly cold flight attendant plopped the tray onto my table and walked away. No smile, no acknowledgement of my “please” or “thank you”, nothing. I carefully opened up my salad and topped it with the ranch dressing, but unfortunately the few leaves of lettuce on there were yellow and not so fresh. Then I had the courage to open up the main course. I now know I should have taken a picture, but this looked like the most nauseating dish I have ever seen, not to mention the strong smell of the cheap barbecue sauce. I took me a minute to find the chicken under all the sauce and mashed potatoes mushed in all together. I envision this being worse than prison food, granted I have never had to experience such circumstances. Needless to say, I walked off the plane with a grumbling tummy.

Now, onto the bathroom. Thankfully, I don’t generally have to go too often, but the one time I did, the bathroom was filthy. When I reached my hand to grab a toilet seat cover, I pulled out used tissues…… GROSS!!!! Then looked around and saw that tissues and toilet paper were all over the floor, around the back of the toilet seat and around the sink. I know that passengers can be excessively messy at times, but there should be a level of cleanliness that the flight attendants should maintain on board during the flights.

In the almost 8 hour flight, not one flight attendant smile, the food was nauseatingly bad, and the bathrooms were not in optimal cleanliness, but there is one things that trumps it all. The alcohol situation. So here I’ve been flying for my entire life. In the last 2 years alone, I have been on over 30 flights worldwide. I have experienced a lot, but this is the first time that I ever experienced a transatlantic flight that charged you for beer and wine with dinner. I paid $850 for my flight, plus an additional $99 for a window seat, and they can’t give me a glass of their cheap ass wine to help me fall asleep? They do realize that the wine and the beer cost less than the soda they offer, right?

This may be the last time I fly United. Thankfully for my next trip back to New York, Delta/KLM has paralleling flights and is well worth the few extra bucks they charge: edible food, friendly staff, clean bathrooms, free booze.