[Butch Cassidy Slept Here]

I guess this is an example of "the luck of the draw" working in the favor of the drunk, and against the OP, or an example where a "Sky Nazi" could have benefited the OP. FAA regulations make the mere CONDITION of being drunk in flight a violation---regardless of what the drunk subsequently does or does not do. While the "sympathizers," et al, will, doubtless, screem foul I think it's fair to say there are a FEW flight attendants ("Sky Nazis") who would seize upon a situation like this as a basis for having police meet the flight.

Again, this is a case where United should be forced to justify its actions in a small claims court---even if the OP loses. The OP should file a small claims action demanding a CASH payment (refund) representing the difference between the coach and first class fares. It would be interesting to see if the United flight attendant lies, and denies she ever moved the OP’s wife. Requesting the issuer of the credit card used to pay the fare to "charge-back" said fare difference is another option. However, if the OP is successful by using the latter route United may choose to try to recover the "charge-back" by having a collection agency harass the OP.