[Robert E. Coli]

I'm seeing a whole bunch of people complaining but very little understanding of the Low Cost airline's point of view.

Low cost airlines have to squeeze you for cash because we have mouths to feed. We don't call them "hidden fees", preferring the term "Surcharge for Low Awareness Passengers," or SLAP. Don't be surprised if we slap a few extra charges on you from time to time. Rest assured that we will not tell you about them in advance... that way your experience prior to check-in will be worry free.

For example it is clear, if you could be bothered reading the fine print, that your will bag will not be returned at your destination if you have not paid the "bag recovery surcharge" prior to the flight. This is clearly explained on page 36 of our Terms of Carriage, available at our website.

At OUR airline we take your concerns seriously. Please visit our online complaints department and tell our customer service representative all about it.

Regards,
Rob

[justme]

This is clearly explained on page 36 of our Terms of Carriage, available at our website.

Dear Mr. E. Coli, I just visited your lovely website and was surprised to find that your Terms of Carriage were indeed not 36 pages long, but only a mere 4 points long. Am I missing the rest of them?

[kingbad]

I wanna fly Thomby! Grease me up!!

[Robert E. Coli]

Dear Justme,

Dear Mr. E. Coli, I just visited your lovely website and was surprised to find that your Terms of Carriage were indeed not 36 pages long, but only a mere 4 points long. Am I missing the rest of them?

I have referred your comment to our legal department. He assures me that the Terms of Carriage as shown on the website IS page 36 of the entire document. The other pages do not appear as we do not wish to cause you needless worry.

Thankyou for your feedback, and we look forward to taking you for a ride.


Regards,
Rob

[jimworcs]

I recently flew Thromby Air from Hell to Damnation. I notice your hand luggage allowance was 5lbs. I weighed my bag before leaving and found that it weighed 2lbs. I was shocked to find that on your scales my bag weighed 25lbs and I had to pay excess of $1,500. The check in girl, Ima Bitch was less than sympathetic and told me that it was covered in page 31 of your Terms and Conditions. Sadly, I have not been able to access these.

After receiving my boarding pass, which I was shocked to find costs $50, I proceeded to the gate. I was also somewhat surprised to see the coin operated turnstile on the jetway. Once I had paid my admission fee at the door of the aircraft, and paid the $25 dollar "seat belt usage fee", I was directed to the straps hanging from the rail. Having paid for a seat belt, was I niave to assume that this meant I would have a seat? Please can you advise me where I can find details of how to purchase the option to sit down. Fortuntely, I had been to the toilet prior to boarding, so the toilet fee was not a problem for me. However, during the flight, my fellow passenger, stressed and nervous after being charged over $2,000 in extras began to have the symptoms of a heart attack. Luckily, your Flight Attendant Juan Kerr was on hand with the defibrillator. What it really necessary to demand a cash payment up front? After the whip round amongst the passengers only managed to collect $3,300 of the $3,500 required, I do want to express my appreciation to Captain T.Wat for allowing me to pay the rest by credit card (subject to a processing fee of $20, plus applicable taxes).

[Robert E. Coli]

At last! A passenger who appreciates being well serviced!

By the way, you may want to get a better set of scales. Many household scales are wildly inaccurate... you may not be the svelte 95 lbs you think you are.

Regards,
Rob

[The_Judge]

Welcome back, Cicero.

[jimworcs]

I thought customers might like to see the Thromby Air Safety Demonstration:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3so6...eature=related

[Robert E. Coli]

Thromby Air has recently announced a new high-density-seating plan that will put an end to all of this rubbish about standing-room-only seating.

http://www.thrombyair.com/high-densi...ting-plan.html

[Robert E. Coli]

Nothing to complain about here; nobody does early ahead-of-the-pack boarding quite like Thromby Air...

http://www.thrombyair.com/advanced-boarding.html

[stevicus]

Thromby Air is allowed to have leopards at the airport check-in counter?



Do they always use leopards, or is it only at certain airports? Some airlines might use crocodiles.