[rainmakr]

Congratulations, Delta! You just sold this Gold Medallion customer your last airline ticket. Ever.

As evidenced by the handling of my simple request tonight, this revelation obviously doesn’t matter to your company in the least. Nevertheless, in case you ever decide to review your retention policy, perhaps it would be helpful to know how little it would have required for you to retain a loyal customer.

Clearly the future value of 30-45 flights per year I would have continued to book with Delta [not counting my spouse, children and co-workers] was not worth a solitary $150 “change fee” to you today. After nearly an hour of conversations and time on hold during two separate phone calls to the Medallion Members’ Reservation line, I finally capitulated. In the end, I surrendered my Delta Sky Miles American Express number for an additional $10.10 charge.

For the record, I was attempting to book a $301 round trip from CMH to PHL. In my account were credits for two unused tickets: a $323 ticket and a $268 ticket. My request was that the amounts you have already collected for flights which I did not occupy [seats you subsequently resold to other passengers] should be combined and subject to a single $150 change fee.

Instead, your customer service representatives insisted it was absolutely impossible NOT to charge a $150 fee for EACH of the unused tickets. Effectively, the two $150 “change fees” would reduce the $591 credit to $291 to be applied to the $301 ticket in question.

At first, your customer service agents actually attempted to collect $60 from me for the difference. After escalating the issue, I was pejoratively chided that I should be delighted to pay just $10 more.

For your reference, here’s the math.

Ticket 1

$323

Ticket 2

$268

Unused Ticket Total:

$591

Single Change Fee:

$150

Sub Total Credit assuming Single Change Fee Applied:

$441

Proposed New Ticket Purchase:

$301

Remaining Credit Assuming the above:

$140

Instead, Delta Still Charged Me:

$10

Net Total Change Fees

$300

In the highly unlikely event you decide to respond to this letter, please refrain from referencing “Delta’s Change Fee Policy” in any way. You may also forego the unnecessary reprisal that certain (horribly overpriced) ticket fare classes are fully refundable and not subject to change fees.

Please understand, I’m not blaming Delta that it took several years and thousands of dollars in flights for me to realize you’ve already priced in the loss of loyal customers like me. You unapologetically charge $150 to change a flight while other airlines charge as little as $0.00 (nothing). Since your fees are completely non-negotiable, you clearly believe they are fair, reasonable and justified in the market place.

Accordingly, your manifest indifference about my future business with Delta should have been obvious to me years ago. I apologize for any inconvenience the additional revenue I spent with your firm may have caused in the meantime, as I was naively hoping you might somehow care to maintain my loyalty.

If I were truly disappointed, this would be part of the letter where I would say something like: “it is a shame we won’t be doing business in the future.” Instead, you have my deepest gratitude for helping me realize the ten dollars and ten cents you charged me today included the last dime I will ever spend with your company.

Sincerely,

XXXXXX

PS: Every six weeks, our company hosts 15 to 25 people who attend training at our Philadelphia offices. To spare my valued colleagues the unnecessary expense of a similar learning experience, I’ll be sure each of them knows to select any other airline but Delta for their travel arrangements.