[Butch Cassidy Slept Here]

The employee number is so incredibly impersonal and so easy to get wrong.

Impersonal? Absolutely. I still think it’s better than first names. Again, badge numbers have been used by police for years. And judging from the pay-outs some cities have made on lawsuit settlements it sounds like badge numbers are copied-down correctly. Also, a number is a better device to use in a scenario where flight attendants would be licensed by the DOT. A flight attendant might work for two, three or more airlines during his/her career. At least some do to my understanding. A single DOT-assigned number would enable the tracking of complaints, against a given flight attendant, from one airline to the next.

The status quo of first names, or no names and just appearances (the lady with the big wart on her forehead!), is probably ok in the absence of DOT licensing. Again, under the current state of affairs, after drug trafficking, setting the plane afire, and feeding a 4-year old passenger vodka, are considered, it seems there is little in the way of bad behavior, on the part of a flight attendant, that would, in the view of most US-based airlines, be a basis for termination.

As to the concept of flight attendants being on board only for safe evacuations and other safety issues: I think that’s a GREAT idea! If you just want to check on customers who are smoking; those who won’t sit-down; and those who are commiting “potty crime” (crapping outside your ticketed class)—NO PROBLEM. I think I can, somehow, get by without a lukewarm “Budget Gormet” tv dinner for lunch. I’ll take my chances with Chick-A-Fill, or Cinabun in the terminal concourse. It would be a great flight—I wouldn’t have to look at your face, and vice versa.

The problem is flight attendants are NOT just safety officers. Too many customers are painfully aware of that. Flight attendants are baby police: If you’re 6 years old, and say “bye, bye plane” too many times, you and Mommy are history! Flight attendants are literary police: Have a t-shirt on with anything written in Arabic? You’re dead meat! Wearing a t-shirt with a political statement—assuming it’s not favoring a politician to whom the airline donated money? You’re walking! Kissing may, or may not, be allowed. Flight attendants check for the “correct” gender combination as part of their “safety” duties, of course!